Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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