literally had 100 drinks last night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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