I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?