dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.