Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
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I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
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I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround