they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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