she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
