3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize