This is not my ceiling
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
