I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
