Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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