I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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