He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
