Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
