Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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