# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
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