Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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