the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is my gift to your gina
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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