can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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