Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
