am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize