absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
