Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
