All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
