If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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