I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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