dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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