Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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