He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
