cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize