I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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