he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need to calm my uterus...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
