Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
even my farts smell like vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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