There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
