I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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