i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
