I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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