seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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