Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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