Can Purell be used as lube?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
