yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
