May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
