new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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