wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
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