its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
