My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
