My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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