using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Your penis caused this!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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