I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
