She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just threw up on my dentist
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
