the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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