On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
