I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
