shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
