I bet he comes in French.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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