I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize