if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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