wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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