Kiss
Puke
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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