Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
