i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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