Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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