Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
